The page is a personal journal of my career in network marketing. It describes . . .
- How I got started in Network-Marketing
- Some of the challenges I faced (the good, the bad, and the ugly)
- What I did to overcome them
- What I did to become the “Prospect Whisperer”
By reading it, you will . . .
- Find genuine hope (because if I can get through my mess, you can surely get through yours)
- Get a sense of my writing style
- Understand how the content on this site might be exactly what you need at this point in your career
Chapter 1: The ring that changed my life
I’m in my office banging on a keyboard when it happens. But then, as a software engineer at a small telecom company, it seems like I’m always at a keyboard. I don’t mind though. I enjoy writing software. My favorite part is taking an abstract idea and making it concrete, something tangible that makes a difference in the world.
We get to do plenty of that at the company for which I work. With only ten engineers, we’re a small team. Even so, we manage to pull off a major coup. We develop a new technology that is so out-of-the-box, so perfect in market timing, and so lucrative, we make the cover of the industry trade journal. Then, less than six months later, we do it again. Two grand slams in a row. They say lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. I beg to differ. I’ve seen it happen.
What an incredible experience. It’s pretty cool to read glowing articles about how some small team or another pulls off the impossible. And then, to be able to highlight the parts you personally created—all from an abstract concept—well, let’s just say it’s an incredibly rewarding experience.
Such is my state of mind when it happens. It starts off like any other day. But somewhere around noon, that all changes.
Big time.
Forever.
Riiiing. Riing. It’s my desk phone. (This was back before cell phones.)
“Hello. This is Russ.”
“Hey, Russ. This is David.”
And so, it begins.
Chapter 2: A really good question
David is a former co-worker. He had left a month before to take a big promotion at another company. I’m relieved he’s called. I already knew from working with him, he had some kind of “side hustle,” but he would never share any detail. He would say just enough to tease me along. When he turns in his notice to resign, I make him promise to call me about whatever he’s doin’ on the side. When I answer the phone that day and hear David’s voice, I’m hoping that’s the reason for his call.
“Hey, David. What’s up?”
“Listen, I’m under the gun time-wise, so I have to be quick, but I wanted to squeeze out a quick call to ya.”
“Okay. What’s up?”
“If you remember, you wanted me to call you about some outside business interests I’ve got goin’ on . . .”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Well, I believe the timing is right for us to talk. We’re looking for some quality people who aren’t afraid to get out of the box. Would you like to explore some outside options?”
“Definitely.”
“Whadda ya say, you and Tammy come to our place Friday night? Bring the kid. We’ll grill some burgers, and I’ll layout what we’re doin’. Can you make that work?”
“Absolutely.”
We wrapped up by nailing down the particulars. Would I like to explore the options? What a good question. How could I have known that simple seven-word question would change the entire trajectory of my life?
But that realization was still way down the road. David’s question is where it started though. Well, his question and the conversation we had on a certain Friday night all those years ago.
Chapter 3: Piece o’ cake!
Friday seems to take forever. To this day, I’m sure there were five Thursdays that week. David had called earlier in the week and invited me to take at look at an undisclosed business opportunity. The anticipation causes time to just about stand still.
Much to my relief, Friday does eventually come around. As planned, Tammy and I arrive on time at David and Kim’s place. After a feast of perfectly grilled burgers, we send the kids to another room to play so the adults can “talk business.” (Bear in mind, this all takes place pre-Internet and even before MLM companies had all the fancy video productions they have today, so David is on his own to present his opportunity.)
What I remember about that night
To be honest, I don’t remember everything David says that fateful night, but I’ll share the parts I do remember.
- I remember him asking questions like: “Did you ever stop to think about how our employer determines the class of car we drive? Or, how they tell us how many days a year we can be sick? They even tell us what time of day to be hungry. Have you ever thought about these things? Would you rather they call the shots, or you?”
- Then, he draws out a comp-plan based on a tree-like structure that generates a couple of thousand bucks a month.
- He goes on to tell me I would have plenty of help, and why others are motivated to provide that help.
- David finishes with a challenge: “Russ, this business model is air-tight. More importantly, it’s good and wholesome. Go home and read the book of Proverbs. See if you can find one single aspect of this plan that goes against what the Bible tells us about business and relating to other people.”
I tell him I need to “think about it.” Yeah, right. I’m in. I’m just not ready to admit it.
He was right
That night, I take the “Proverbs Challenge,” For the record, David is right. I can’t find even a single “hole” in the business. Perhaps even more significant, I learn the business is built on biblical principles. (The principles are present whether you attribute them to the Bible or not.) This is important to me and David knows it, which is precisely why he issues the challenge to begin with.
Over the next couple of days, I wear David out with about a Kbillion questions. By Monday, I’m good to go, so I call him and tell him I’m ready to get started. “This thing is gonna be a piece of cake,” I pronounce. When I look back today, I wonder how David managed not to laugh. Come to think of it, he probably did, just not to my face.
The next night, David and Kim, stop by the house to get us started in the biz.
That’s when they dropped the bomb.
Chapter 4: You want us to do what?!
Last Friday, I look on while David draws out his comp plan. Yesterday, I call him to say, “I’m in.” It’s Tuesday evening and David and Kim stop by to get us started in the business. Remember, this takes place pre-Internet.
Blah, blah, blah
The bulk of the affair is rather anticlimactic. Starter kit; ho-hum. Here’s how you place orders; ho-hum. Here’s the upline roster; ho-hum. Then David broaches the subject of personal development; maybe not quite ho-hum, but still very limited interest. As a Red/high-D personality, what I want is action! (Of course, at the time, I have never heard of personal development, much less understand it.)
The standard operating procedure for Red/high-D is best summed up as: Ready. Fire! Aim. I don’t want to talk about personal development. What I want is to do something.
Talk about basking in the luxury of ignorance.
And then they drop the bomb
And then the conversation takes a completely unexpected turn when David asks, “So what’re you guys doing two weekends from now?”
“Nothing that I know of. Why?”
“Because all the leaders on our team are going to attend a conference. Lots of how-to information about every aspect of the business. You won’t believe the things you see and learn. It’ll change your life. And I mean that literally.”
“Okay. Sounds good. What do we have to do?”
“Buy a pair of tickets and ride with us.”
“Where to?
“Memphis,” he replies nonchalantly.
“Memphis? As in Tennessee? You want us to go with you to Tennessee?!”
“Of course. Like I said, all the leaders will be there. I see you as a leader. You do plan to be leader in this thing don’t you?”
His harpoon sinks deep. You see, I may not yet know about the different personality types, but my sponsor, David, surely does. And he knows exactly what makes a Red/high-D tick: calling the shots. He appeals to my natural bent, so I say . . .
“How do I get a pair of those tickets?”
Sometimes simple decisions lead to extraordinary outcomes. I didn’t know at the time, but the decision to attend that Memphis convention is one of those times.
Extraordinary outcomes indeed.
Chapter 5: I had no idea
I’ve been in the biz for less than two weeks. I’ve already prospected and showed the comp plan several times. Those early “presentations” are colossal train wrecks. Nevertheless, my Red/high-D personality remains undaunted. On Friday number two, I find myself attending a business conference, in Memphis, Tennessee, over four-hundred miles from home.
David and I walk into the venue, the Pyramid Arena, to claim our seats. Despite the size of the space, enthusiasm fills the air. Imagine, if you will, 30,000 motivated, positive, hope-filled peeps from all over the country, all gathered to glean wisdom from a group of 7- and 8-figure income earners.
The next morning my world changes.
Bear in mind, at this point, I’m still only marginally aware of the concept of personal development. The little bit I do know is what David explained. Imagine my reaction when I experience Zig Ziglar, Bob Burg, Morris “The Miracle Man” Goodman, the real-life Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger, and several upline millionaires, all before the afternoon break. Talk about culture shock!
Did I mention the conference is hosted, not by the corporation, but by one particular upline individual? Think about that—30,000 people in the Pyramid and every last one of them is on the one guy’s team. You think that’s impressive? Think about this: the following weekend another conference is scheduled for the other half of his team! Not 60,000 people on his team, mind you, but 60,000 people on his team who are serious enough to attend a long-distance conference. Now, that’s impressive!
The festivities go ‘til late that night. The next morning, Sunday, there’s not a single mention of business. There are no vendor tables or commerce of any kind. There is, however, a voluntary, non-denominational worship service. Many conference attendees return for the service because they appreciate the opportunity to worship while away from home.
The host takes the stage, surveys the silent crowd, lifts the mic, and with genuine humility says, “This is my ministry.” What follows is one of the sweetest, most impactful worships services I have ever attended.
One thought keeps going through my mind: Where has this business been hiding? How is it I’m just now finding out about this thing? I had no idea something like this existed.
No idea at all.
[Note: Don’t get all bent around the axle about the spiritual component of my experience. If that isn’t your thing, toss it aside; there’s plenty of good stuff ahead you willappreciate.]
Chapter 6: Warm market, cold shoulder
Sunday evening, I return to Dallas. I’m no longer the same person I was a mere three days before. The convention changes everything. I’ve never felt so purposeful. I’m ready to take on the world.
Good thing too because the world was about to push back.
Bigly.
I’m fired up! Who wouldn’t want to do this thing? So, I set out to sponsor everyone I know.
Imagine my surprise.
I share my opportunity with the people I know. Upline helps me with some of the them. I talk to others on my own—coworkers, friends, relatives. All to no avail. No one is interested. No body. Not a soul. Nada. Nil. Zero. Zilch.
I step way out of my comfort zone to invite all those people, to share a comp plan I barely understand. And what do I have to show for all the effort and angst? One ginormous, gargantuan goose egg (and not a golden one either). Big woo. Turns out, my so-called warm market, is actually pretty chilly. Who knew?
I do have one thing going for me, though. And I‘m about to need it.
Every. Single. Ounce of it.
Things are about to get very interesting . . .
Chapter 7: Clueless
People with Red/high-D personalities tend to be headstrong. In my case, “headstrong” doesn’t even come close. I’m an extraordinarily stubborn individual. Once I decide on a particular course of action, I fight tooth-and-nail to accomplish the goal. Challenges don’t sway me. Noes don’t phase me. I zero in on the goal with laser-like focus. I share all this to let you know, that while we all have areas in which we need to improve, persistence is not one of mine. Good thing too because I’m about to need every ounce of persistence I can muster.
So, here I am . . . a newbie in the wonderful, wacky world of Network-Marketing. Thanks to the recent convention, I’m fired up. Thanks to a disinterested warm market, I’ve made absolutely no business progress. (I’ve made progress in terms of experience and personal growth, but not in terms of monetary gain.)
I’ve gone through my warm market with nothing to show but a big fat goose egg; no warm market and too hard-headed to quit. The only option I have is talking to people I don’t know.
And therein lies the rub.
I’m a software engineer. I’m trained to talk to computers, not people. I speak in “1”s and “0”s. I’m fluent in several programming languages, but people language—not so much. Moreover, striking up conversation with complete strangers—well—let’s just say even the thought of it is completely out of my comfort zone. I do it, though. I’m simply too hardheaded not to do it.
I have no idea what to say, how to say it, or even to whom to say it. I have no clue what I’m doing.
It ain’t pretty.
I’m the perfect picture of ignorance in chaos. I feel like the octopus on roller skates—a wipe-out looking for a place to happen. I’m swathing a path of destruction everywhere I go, and I don’t even realize it.
This goes on for several months.
Then something happens; another event destined to change the course of my business. And my life; eventually leading to this blog and the books with my name on the covers.
Chapter 8: Felons, values, and the words we say
I’m a few months into my networking career. My warm market lands a giant goose egg. I’m determined not to quit, so the only alternative is to approach folks I don’t know. Not only do I not know what to say, the process of prospecting strangers makes me extremely uncomfortable. I plod on, but I feel like I’m swimming in molasses; a ton of work, with no discernible progress.
Not a good place to be.
It’s time to attend my second business conference, which I do. One of the presenters talks about something he calls “self-talk.” I tune him out. To me, the whole concept to seems too much like New-Age mumbo-jumbo. Charms, chants, incantations, and the like, run contrary to my beliefs and values, so I want nothing to with the farce of self-talk.
After the convention, I return home to the same ol’ struggles of prospecting people I don’t know. The same ol’ fears and hang-ups still hinder my efforts. Moreover. I’m still struggling to find the right words. Despite these challenges, I gut it up and force myself to press on.
A few more months go by. It’s time for the next quarterly conference, which I attend. The same “self-talk” presenter also shows up at the conference. This time, things are different, or rather I’m different. The team’s personal development regimen has been working on me. My beliefs and values are the same, but I have a different mindset. I look at the world through a different pair of glasses.
Rather than dismissing the notion of self-talk entirely, I consider the subject with a broader perspective. Afterall, upline shares my values. Furthermore, they’re paying the speaker good money for his time. Clearly, they believe in his message. So, I decide to listen without judgment. I’ll reserve judgment until after hearing what he has to say. Novel concept, right?
One of the speaker’s points really grabs my attention. He explains that while working on his doctoral dissertation, he interviews numerous convicted felons in prison. Turns out over 80% of them grew up with parents telling them, “You aren’t worth anything. One day, you’ll probably end up in prison.” Eighty percent. Think about that. The speaker goes on to share powerful examples of positive self-talk as well.
My opinion goes through a major paradigm shift. It suddenly dawns on me that self-talk is neither good nor bad. It’s merely a tool. It is the character of the person wielding the tool, which determines the wholesomeness of the outcome.
That’s when the speaker makes an offer I can’t refuse. He explains how he has developed an entire set of self-talk recordings specifically for Networker-Marketers. Each recording focuses on a single aspect of the business. Lo and behold, one of them addresses fears and hang-ups about prospecting! He already had my interest. Now, he has my attention. He goes on to make his offer: buy the set of recordings for X dollars. Use any of the tapes as advertised. If I’m not pleased with the results, he’ll issue a full refund. With nothing to lose, I spring for the audios. I never, in my wildest imagination, could have anticipated what happened next.
Oh, the power of the words we say.
Chapter 9: Sticks and stones
I just sprang for the purchase of self-talk recordings made specifically for networkers. Up until the convention, I’d never heard of self-talk, so I don’t really know what to expect. I start with the recording about prospecting because that’s where I need the most help. The instructions say to listen once in the morning and again later in the day. The recording is less than 15 minutes long. Perfect. Just long enough to listen on the way to work and again on the way home. According to the instructions, after 30 days or so, my fears and hang-ups should be considerably less. I’ll take all the help I can get.
Also per the instructions, I play the recording in the background. I need to focus on driving anyway, so this is easy to do. I listen every day; on the way to the office and again on the way home. I don’t want to skip a day, so on weekends, I sit in the garage and listen.
I continue to prospect just as I had done before. Time passes, and then the most amazing thing happens. (I don’t recall exactly how much time has transpired, but I believe it’s just short of the 30-day mark.) I prospect someone, a stranger, and afterwards, I think to myself, Hmm; I’ve been prospecting like usual, but I don’t seem to mind it as much. It’s odd because I’m not doin’ anything different.
And then it hits me! Yes, I am! I’ve been listening to that self-talk recording.
The recording has been working exactly as advertised. It operates on a subconscious level. So much so, that at first, I’m not even aware it’s happening at all. Such is the power of self-talk. You may recall the children’s rhyme:
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words can never hurt me.
Only the rhyme isn’t true. It’s more accurate to say:
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words can put me in a coma.
When you get your self-talk in line with your goals, breakthroughs occur. And this is precisely what happens to me all those years ago. The how-tos and the whys of self-talk are explained in the books. For now, let me just say that if it wasn’t for that self-talk recording about prospecting, the books with my name on the covers wouldn’t exist. Not a chance. That recording set into motion a series of events, which ultimately changed the direction of my life. Of course, at the time, I had no way of knowing this.
Stick with me, and I’ll explain how I came to find out.
Chapter 10: Only 3 bullets
I feel a 1,000 pounds lighter. Thanks to a certain self-talk audio recording, the fears of prospecting that used to plague me are all but gone. Also gone are the hang-ups that used to have such a stranglehold on my prospecting attempts. At last I’m free. The “fear monkey” no longer rides my back. Those pesky little voices of doubt no longer whisper in my mind. Woo-hoo!
Well, maybe not quite “woo-hoo.”
Not yet anyway.
I’m free of fear and hang-ups, but I’m still not getting much interest when I prospect. I’m not about to quit, but something has got to change. I don’t realize it yet, but things are changing; namely me. The changes are brought on by three factors:
- I keep myself immersed in personal development. I read recommended books and I listen to training audios when I drive. Every day.
- My mentor tells me the story of “The Duck and the Rhino” (which is available in my blog).
- I begin to pay super close attention to my prospecting conversations.
Only three bullets, and yet, together, they make the rest of my journey possible.
Do you ever stop to think about the “thin threads” in life? Those seemingly random events and encounters which lead us down a certain path? We don’t usually recognize them while they’re happening, but when we stop and look back, they seem so obvious. These three bullets are proof-positive that thin threads matter.
So, why are these bullets so significant to my journey? Follow me to the next chapter and I’ll explain.
Chapter 11: My public apology
I begin my networking career with a sprint. I’m excited about the potential. Too bad I’m not realizing the potential. Oh, I get a few nibbles here and there. I even sponsor a couple of folks along the way. Neither of them stick around very long though. I have no idea why they quit because I’m the ideal sponsor—pushy, confrontational, impatient—I have all the qualities one appreciates in their upline. Come to find out, these are all classic traits of Red/High-D personalities, but I know nothing about personality styles when I first get started.
Thank God for my first mentor. Larry is, quite literally, a godsend. His is my sponsor’s sponsor, and thankfully he just so happens to be a fellow High-D personality. He also happens to be an ardent student of personal development. So, when Larry and I first meet, he recognizes my High-D traits right away.
[Note: High-D’s are results-driven. They flat out get the job done. Unfortunately, they tend to value the task over the people doing the task. In so doing, they often leave bodies on the side of the road. This does not bode well in a profession like Network-Marketing which is based on building teams of voluntary participants.]
As a fellow High-D and long-time student of personal development, Larry is more more than up to the challenge of a newbie like me. He knows he has to “fix” me before I have the chance wreak even more destruction.
Upline to the rescue!
And he knows exactly how to do it.
Larry knows if he can get me to read a certain book, there’s a good chance I’ll start fixing myself. This too presents a challenge, because you can’t tell a High-D to do something (well you can, but not very successfully). Larry knows I have to want to read the book; I have to think it’s my idea. So that is precisely how he frames the idea of reading this certain book.
He plays me like a fiddle.
His strategy is simple and highly effective. I describe the details in Lessons from the Giraffe, so I won’t bother repeating his strategy here. Suffice it say Larry’s plan worked. The name of that special book is Personality Plus by Florence Littauer.
[Note: While, Personality Plus will always have a special place in my heart, I usually recommend a different book instead because the terminology is easier to remember. Having said that, Littauer has a delightful sense of humor and her book is a joy to read, so I don’t want to discourage you from reading it. Download my recommended reading list here.]
The book Larry “tricks” me into reading rocks my world. It teaches me things about myself I never knew. Some of it I like, and quite a bit of it, I don’t like. I feel as though I need to take out a full-page ad in the Wall Street Journal and apologize to the world.
Fixing myself — I’m so sorry
That’s the bad news. Here’s the good news: having read the book, I know how to change. Big ships turn slow, so personal change is a process. But you have to start somewhere. So, that’s what I do. I start making deliberate changes to the way I interact with other people.
My networking results improve almost immediately. I still have a looong way to go, but at least I’m moving in the right direction. I think to myself, if one book makes that big a difference, what would happen if I read others?
And that’s how I learn the value of personal development.
When it comes to prospecting and sales, personal development is vital. However, it alone is not enough. You also have to be an effective communicator; you have to know what to say and what not to say. These too are lessons I have to learn the hard way.
I don’t recommend doing what I describe in the next chapter.
Chapter 12: Goin’ solo
A lot of people start their networking career by “sticking their toe in the water,” so to speak. High-D personalities don’t operate that way. The High-D tends to dive into the middle of the action expecting to figure it out as they go. And this is exactly how I approach the business. I start sharing my opportunity at the very beginning.
[Note: Thanks to goading by my upline, I was doing presentations, on my own, the very first week. Here too, they (two of them, both named Larry) played me like a fiddle. Lessons from the Giraffe recounts that conversation. All these years later, I still look back and marvel at how Larry and Larry orchestrated that conversation.]
Nothing to show for
I don’t get any takers, mind you; no one chooses to join my team, but I charge through my warm market just the same. It isn’t easy for me. I run into significant obstacles:
- Fears and hang-ups
- Poor people skills
- Poor communication skills
So, there I am, a Network-Marketing newbie. Thanks to a certain audio recording, I’m get past my fears. However, I’m still new to the whole personal development thing; my warm market isn’t interested; and I have no clue how to approach people I don’t know. Bottom line: I’m still in a highly vulnerable state
One upline leader takes me out so he can “teach” me how to engage complete strangers. I recount the details of that experience in one of the parrot books (here). Let’s just say, there isn’t much instruction involved. Talk about a harrowing experience!
[Don’t be alarmed. It’s not necessary for you to go through the same process I did. My content explains everything I had to learn the hard way. You get to benefit from my struggles without having to “reinvent the wheel.” This means immediate results for you.]
Fine then, I’ll teach myself
So, I decide that if no one will teach me how to approach people I don’t know, then I’ll just have to learn it on my own. While I have absolutely no idea what that entails, being a High-D, I stand behind the decision, so I gut it up and proceed with boldness (bold ignorance really).
Bear in mind, this all takes place before the Internet goes mainstream. At the time, neither social media nor smartphones exist. Not everyone has an email address, or even a plain ol’ mobile phone for that matter. If you want to meet new people you pretty much have to go out do it in person. This process of prospecting people you don’t know in random everyday encounters is called “situational prospecting.”
[Note: Today, social media is a great way to prospect people you don’t know, but it is not the only way. It turns out, people are people regardless whether you meet them on- or offline. The same basic skills apply to both. In fact, the patterns of conversation I teach often include the same exact verbiage. Several critter lessons expound upon these concepts. I mention them here, so you don’t mistakenly assume my content applies only to offline communication. Such is not the case.]
In the early days, face-to-face prospecting is my only option and I have absolutely no clue how to go about it. I do, however, have one skill that is about to come in very handy . . .
Chapter 13: Was it something I said?
So here I am. I have to learn how to approach people I don’t know. And I have to learn it on my own. How hard can it be, right? I have absolutely no idea what’s in store for me. Talk about basking in the luxury of ignorance.
No more fear
For all intents and purposes, I’m over my fears. I’m willing to prospect just about anyone. Unfortunately, I haven’t a clue what to say. Despite my best efforts, the words always seem to come out wrong. I do have one ace up the sleeve though; a skill that is about to prove extremely valuable. I have the ability to recall conversations after the fact, almost verbatim. Not forever, mind you, but long enough to help with my prospecting struggles.
Instant replay
Whenever I prospect, I pay close attention—to my words, to the prospect’s verbal responses, and to the prospect’s physical reactions (body language and facial expressions). Then after they decline (which they nearly always do), I replay the encounter in my mind. It’s almost like watching a movie for the second time. I’m no expert in body language, but the human brain picks up on body language naturally. It’s even more adept at picking up on facial expressions.
So, when I replay the mental “movies,” I “listen” for negative verbal responses (their words and tones). I also “look” for negative physical reactions. What I need to know is: what is it I’m saying to cause the prospect to react in those ways. This how I figured out things not to say. I make a lot of mistakes, so as you can imagine, the list of wrong things to say grows into a really long list!
Things finally start clicking
It’s easy for me to say the wrong thing. My biggest challenge is coming up with alternatives, new words and phrases I can use in place of the ones that don’t work. The whole process is a big game of trial and error. A very looong game of trial and error. Every now and then, I stumble across a word or phrase that seems to cause a positive reaction. Over time, I gather a list of several things that seem to work pretty good. After more time, I start discovering ways to combine the ones that work. That’s when things start “clicking.”
Eventually, I manage to really dial in the skills. At some point, prospecting becomes an unconscious process. I just do it without even thinking about. By this time, my prospecting stats are off the chart. Nearly everyone I approach expresses genuine interest in watching my video. A significant portion of them end up joining my team. I’m regularly listed the company magazine as one of the top ten recruiters. [Note: there are other reasons I’m not one of top earners, but they have nothing to with prospecting and sponsoring.]
Another major turning-point
And then, one day, I meet my latest mentor for lunch–a lunch I shall remember forever.
Chapter 14: A lunch to remember
I invested 7 ½ years with my first networking company. This post picks up 2-3 years after I made the switch to company #2. Along with the second business opportunity comes a new mentor, Don (the same Don who wrote the foreword for the Funny Bone book).
Don is extraordinarily skilled in the area of sales. He’s forgotten more about sales than I may ever know. It’s an enormous blessing to receive one-on-one mentoring from Don. So anytime he calls to invite me to lunch, I make a hole in the calendar and show up early. The operative word being early.
One day, a few years ago, was just such a day—I show up early to meet Don for lunch. Now, for a proliferate prospector, such as yours truly, arriving early to an environment full of strangers means one thing: time to prospect! And from the moment I enter the restaurant, that’s precisely what I do.
Only this time, there’s a twist.
I don’t realize it, but Don beat me to the restaurant. By the time I realize he’s already seated, I’ve traded contact information with two brand-new, fully qualified prospects both of whom are interested in additional information.
I see Don and join him. We order and return to the table with our meals. We give thanks for the food and dive in. Halfway through, Don tosses his fork on the table with just enough emphasis to introduce a hint of drama. The fork takes two tiny bounces and comes to rest against a half-full glass of iced tea. Tink.
“That’s it,” says, Don. “I’m not inviting you to lunch anymore.”
I’ve known Don long enough to know he’s leading up to something. When it comes to human interaction, everything he does has specific intent.
“Okay, Don. I know there’s a lesson in there somewhere. Let’s have it . . .”
“Why should I bring you to lunch? I saw you prospect those people when you first walked in. Look around us. All these people, every single one of them a prospect for our business. And you’re willing to talk to any of them; all except me, that is. You won’t talk to me because I’m already in the business.”
I chuckle at Don’s exaggeration. “Yeah, right.”
“No really. I watched you in action. You have to understand, Russ. I’ve been on 100% commission for over twenty years. I know body language, NLP, unconscious signaling, and personality styles. I know all this “stuff” and yet I’ve never seen anyone prospect the way you do. Those people don’t know you from Adam, and in a matter of seconds, they’re anxious to watch your video.
I want you on my stage sharing how you do what you do.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m planning a local training event. Two weeks from this weekend. I’m handpicking 3 rising stars to train on different topics. I would very much like for you to train on the subject of “situational prospecting.” What do you say? Can I count on you to help me out?”
At this point, I had never taught from stage. I find the idea a bit unnerving. One thought goes through my mind though: If I’m not stretching, I’m not growing. For this reason, I say, “Sure, Don. I’ll do it.”
“Glad to hear it, my friend. I’m going to give you a 45-minute slot. Put together a PowerPoint presentation. When I finalize the venue, I’ll forward the details.”
Two nights later, I sit down to start work on my presentation. That’s when the most unexpected thing happens . . .
[Note: this concludes the current journal series. The story of my personal journey picks up here in the next series (link below).]